We are all concerned with relationships throughout our lives and experience a number of different kinds of relationships from the moment we are born until the moment that we leave this world. We have parental relationships, at first as children with our parents, and then later, as adults, we have relationships with our own children. We also have relationships with the person that we choose to go through life with, marry and have children with. In a work environment, we experience a number of different kinds of professional relationships, the manager–worker relationship or employer-employee relationship and many others, every day, big and small.
Quite often most relationships can be seen to actually exist as selfish needs based on our own varying levels of needs such as insecurity, loneliness, varying levels of validation based on physical appearance, emotional or economical needs, and so on. So essentially, most of the relationships that we attempt to forge throughout our lives are not really about the people or entities that we are attempting to establish these relationships with, but rather they are about our own needs and the relationship requirements that we have for ourselves as individuals.
In the case of the more personal or non – professional relationship, the ones we have with our spouses or partners, we often choose these relationships so that we can fill a perceived need or a gap. This can be an emotional need based in certain fears, insecurities or uncertainties, or they can be based on some other kind of need to validate our self – esteem. Ultimately however the very purpose of these relationships, from our point of view, can actually be the ultimate hindrance to our progress as individuals and the relationship that we have with ourselves.
The real question then is how do we begin to strengthen the relationship that we have with ourselves? This is a very complex question with many different levels. The best place to begin to this journey is by taking sometime and really examining yourself. In order to make this a success you will need to be as brutally honest with yourself as you can be. Write things down, things that you like about yourself and things that you think need a bit of work. This is the beginning of building a new and more meaningful relationship with you.