Let’s face it: at some point or another, each of us has engaged in toxic or destructive behavior (nobody is resistant to it), but there are a lot of people out there who are more progressive, centered, and conscious, and this sort of thing happens much less frequently in their lives.
Regardless of how frequently or infrequently you engage in negative behavior, it is essential for both your happiness and your success that you can identify whenever you are behaving negatively and make adjustments to your behavior as soon as you become aware of it.
Taking Everything to Heart and Doing It Personally
In the enlightening and thought-provoking book The Four Agreements, written by don Miguel Ruiz, the author emphasizes the significance of not taking anything personally. There is a lot of resistance to this concept.
When a person believes that everything that occurs in their lives is either a direct attack on them or is in some manner all about them, they are toxic to have around and should be avoided at all costs. The fact of the matter is that what other people say and do to you has much more to do with them than it does with you. People’s responses to you are a reflection of their filters, as well as their viewpoints, perceptions, and wounds.
Again, whether individuals consider you to be incredible or believe you’re the worst, it has more to do with them than it does with you. We’re not suggesting that we should behave in a narcissistic manner and disregard all feedback; far from it. It is significantly more productive and beneficial to let go of other people’s good or bad personal views of you and to follow your own heart, instinct, and knowledge as your guide, which is what we are saying. So much of the pain, disappointment, and despair that we experience in our lives originate from the fact that we take things personally. Therefore, it is important to remember not to take anything personally.
Taking on the Role of a Victim for Yourself
Whingeing nonstop is another example of toxic behavior because it reinforces the idea that you are a victim. A toxic attitude that keeps you trapped and small is one in which you believe that you are a victim, that you possess no ability to exercise, and that you have no impact on the path that your life takes.
You will discover that you have more power than you thought once you stop complaining and refuse to see yourself as a helpless victim of destiny, chance, or discrimination; however, this discovery will only occur if you make the conscious decision to acknowledge the truth of the situation.
Cruelty Can Be Defined as a Lack of Empathy or an Inability to Put Oneself in the Position of Another
The complete absence of empathy, concern or sympathy for other people is at the root of cruelty, one of the most poisonous and destructive forms of behavior. People being heartbreakingly harsh and destructive to one another for no other reason than the fact that they can is something that we see in the media and online daily. They insult others in an anonymous and dishonorable manner while doing so online, using their confidentiality as a shield. Toxic behavior such as being cruel, betraying, or tearing someone apart is harmful to both you and the person you are targeting.
If you find yourself breaking someone else down and backstabbing them, you need to stop right where you are. Explore the depths of your being, cultivate compassion within your heart, and acknowledge that we are all the same.
Excessive Sensitivity to Stimuli
Everyone around you is negatively affected when you are unable to control your emotions. People who lose their cool over even the tiniest inconvenience or obstacle are familiar to all of us. These include both men and women. Shouting at the bank teller because of the long queue, shrieking at your assistant because of the error he made in the PowerPoint presentation, or losing it with your kid because they spilled milk on the floor are all examples of angry outbursts.
If you find that you are overly reactive and losing it at every turn, you need a little external help to assist you to gain control of your reactions and recognize what is at the root of your emotional intensity. This assistance can come in the form of professional counseling or psychotherapy. There is significantly more to it than first meets the eye. It is essential to have an outside perspective as well as a different kind of support.
Preoccupation With Unfavorable Ideas and Emotions
It is very challenging to be in the company of people who are unable or unwilling to let go of their negative thoughts and feelings, particularly when they fixate on and speak nonstop about the awful things that may and have occurred, the insults they’ve experienced, and the social injustice of life.
These individuals are obstinate in their refusal to see the positive aspects of life and the valuable lessons that can be learned from the current situation. It’s one thing to be pessimistic, but it’s quite another to allow yourself to get stuck in a cycle of negative thinking. Your way of thinking and living is distorted if you only see the bad and if you operate from the opinion that all things are negative and against you. You can change this way of thinking and living.
Requiring Constant Reassurance
People who are constantly striving for verification and self-esteem by becoming obsessed with accomplishing external success metrics are draining to be around. Toxic and draining are the interactions with people, whether male or female, who are constantly trying to “win” over their coworkers or peers and are wrapped up in the urge to prove their worth regularly.
It is possible to wear yourself out and carry others around you down if you are overly attached to how things have to look and be, as well as to the achievement of certain milestones and accomplishments, instead of going with life more flexibly and easily. There is more at play in your life than what you accomplish or don’t accomplish right now, and it has nothing to do with that. It’s not so much about the destination as it is about the path you take to get there, including what you learn and how you apply it, how you help other people, and the maturing method you enable yourself to take part in.
Put an end to worrying about the specific outcomes, such as “I need that promotion today!” or “My house must be bigger and more magnificent than my neighbor’s,” for example. Unfortunately for you, everyone else can see that you have a desperate need to assert your dominance or worth and establish your self-esteem through external measures of success. This need is driving you further and further away from the very positive outcomes that you’re longing for.